made new blog.

somehow my actions remind myself of early Meia from vandread.

"if i dont get too close to anyone. i cant be hurt."
if i keep the people who i feel are important away from me.
it wont hurt that much when i leave. again. deshou?
i cant hurt anyone im not close to.
Sore ga, boku no ai desu.


and following this philosophy.
yeah. i'll be alone. getting used to it.
when we die we're alone too anyways.

sore ga boku no ai deshou

mondays suck.
i've been at work all day, doing nothing.
studied a little bit of o chem.
slept for a little while.
went online and checked stuff out.
pretty normal boring monday.
... yep.

the stroll down memory lane yesterday was...
very nice.
sigh.



oh, and this will be the last post.
...
no, really. im serious.
...
yes. you wont have to torture yourself anymore. reading this junk.
...
yes you can open the champagne.

Farewell.

ahh, went out with primary school friends today.

blogging again.

haven been blogging since the week before finals week.
too busy
and haven been blogging since i came back to singapore.

> I remember rising one night
> after midnight
> and moving
> through an impulse of loneliness
> to try and find the stars.
> And through the haze
> the battens of fluorescents made
> I saw pinpricks of white
> I thought were stars.
> Greatly daring
> I thrust my arm through the bars
> and easing the switch in the corridor
> plunged my cell in darkness.
> I scampered to the window
> and saw the splashes of light
> where the stars flowered.
> But through my delight
> thudded the anxious boots
> and a warning barked
> from the machine-gun post
> on the catwalk.
> And it is the brusque inquiry
> and threat
> that I remember of that night
> rather than the stars.
>
> By D. Brutus

-this post has been edited-

Last friday was the last day for testing unknowns in Chem QA.
though i've already dropped the class...
still went to KPO a bit.

since it was the last day for qual, and people were just so behind in testing unknowns
many people were just so busy writing flowcharts.

and Burns got so mad when i was helping people with flowcharts.
saying i shouldnt be helping other people anymore than i already have.
it is like the 10th time or so she told me off for helping other people with flowcharts.
damn

"if they dont know, they have to test it themselves."
well. that'd be possible if you gave them more time dammit.

well
im just afraid she will withdraw my chem tutor application recommendation.
then i have no one else to go to.
well, not that i think i will get the job anyways.

oh well.
should go back to studying.
physics exam completed.
studying for Bio on tues. then Math on thurs.
and then its finals week... the dread and horror.

went to Osaka's place again
you think Rojak is a mix of stuff... wait till you hear what i had for dinner

Potato Salad.
Black Pepper Steak with 醤油. shouyu.
and japanese rice.

kewl, eh? steak was kinda raw too.
bleh, just that i dont really like raw stuffz.

and it is today that i decided.
Hazuki is cute!
not the Tsukuyomi hazuki,
but Osaka's roommate.

but she's like 4, 5 years older than me...
...

oh well.

tonight's sky was really bright.
i saw the big dipper yesterday!
first time i did. it was really nice.
and that was the 2nd constellation i recognise in the sky.

a week from now we'll see yet another full moon.
until then...

STUDY!!!

falling sick. argh. stress ar!!

i was going to rant about 3 girls but decided to scrap it because nobody needs to know about them.

to _GET_ into a _RELATIVELY_ good college you need a GPA of about 3.0
to get into an _ENGINEERING_ faculty you need about 3.5.
to get into the BIOENGINEERING you need about a 4.0 in GPA.
(you can probably get in with a 3.9.)

so if you get an A its 4 points, if you get a B its 3, and C is 2, D is 1, and F is 0.
no Es. so i cant possibly salvage Es in the first place, XW =p

D is the BARE passing grade. but if the class you got a D in is a prerequisite for the following class, you cant take the following class.
BUT. you're allowed to retake the class for a better, passing grade, likewise for F.

on the other hand, if you get a B or a C, otherwise, a passing grade, you cant _re-take_ the class, which i discovered earlier this semester... to my dismay.

if you failed the class, meaning D and F, you can retake it, and they _will not_ count it towards your GPA. meaning if you can get an A in the next try they ignore the FAIL and take the A.

but if you get a B or a C and you retake the class, to get an A, they're only going to count the first C or B that you took. The A, on the other hand, is disregarded.

which doesnt make sense.

so now, considering i ace the rest of my classes, i will be able to get a 3.9.
but if i get a B for my math, not only will i not be able to retake the class for an A, my GPA will also be dropped to a 3.8.

Then i wont be able to get into a good uni, and i will die a horrible death.

and therefore I CONCLUDE
C is the worst grade, followed by B, then F, then D, and of course, A is the best.
so if you're trying to get Es you're obviously between D and F, which makes you, actually, a lot better than a C or a B.


but no one reads this anyways. so wtf.

terribly depressed now.

after adding all my scores up
found out i couldnt possibly get an A anymore in math class
since my average was so low.

then again, found out i couldnt possibly get a C either.

which, sadly, doesnt comfort me at all.

and that makes it the 2nd B on my transcript.
i shouldnt have slacked.

sad thing is i always only realise after everything is set in stone.

the only thing left is regret.

im a fuckin idiot.

and i lost my physics textbook.
keep losing all my textbooks. damn.
they're all so expensive too.

life sucks.
wished this is just a horrible nightmare.
wished i could lie down tonight after a long day, and never wake up ever again.
running away from it all.